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Lunatic Olympics
Written by Charles
Tuesday, 12 July 2011 15:33

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It’s amazing, and also frightening, what boredom and alcohol can inspire. We asked the Tribe if they’ve ever created their own sport on a boozy occasion? The following are our silliest three:

olympicSkim Cricket

Captain: Gord Laws
Aim: To make the most points and get drunk.
How it works: Unlike traditional cricket, a batsman stands at the edge of a swimming pool with his bat. The bowler bowls a very worn tennis ball across the pool, bouncing it off the water at the speed of sound. Everyone face an over from everyone else.
Rules:
The bowler must hit the wickets — a plastic chair, or even more fun the batsman. A bald ball stings like hell.
The batsman makes as points by hitting strategic areas that have been assigned values. Minus four points if you go out.

How inebriated must you be? Not very. Drunk people can’t catch. Or throw. Or swim for that matter. But seeing as drinking is one of the aims, it’s inevitable…
Possible Olympic inclusion? Well pigeon racing made it into the Olympics once, once! Based on that, it could happen. We give it a 10% chance.

 

olympicBeer Pong

Captain: Bryan Stewart
How do you play: At each end of a table tennis table stand two (or more) competitors and their drinks strategically placed on the playing surface. There must be two bats and one ball.
Aim: The aim is to hit your opponent’s drink with the ping-pong ball. When you hear the ‘ping’ your opponent must sip his drink. When the ball lands in the glass, your opponent must finish whatever is in it. Last man standing is the winner.
Rules:
The ball must bounce on your side of the net first
Touch any glass, the owner must drink
Fail to get it over the net or miss the table and the hitter must drink.
When all opponents have downed their drinks, the losing team must down your drinks too.
If you knock over your own drink, you have to do a down-down. And wipe the table!

How inebriated must you be? It’s not really a question of ‘must’ but rather definitely will be. Essentially this is a drinking game and for you to be the victor you need to get your opposition plastered.

Possible Olympic inclusion: Absolutely none as liver damage is frowned upon by the Olympic Committee.


Dune Golf

Captain: Edward Findlay
Aim: To get through nine sandy holes in as few shots as possible
How it works: Place driftwood sticks all over the dunes and create an adventure golf course of note. Unlike normal golf, you can’t putt on sand, so it’s all about chipping. Around each “hole” (driftwood stick in the sand) draw a two-meter diameter ring. Your ball must land in that circle to finish the hole. Hole lengths are short with Par 3s, 4s, and 5s.
olympicRules:
Play the ball as it lies, except off the tee shot, where you may place your ball.
How inebriated must you be? Not at all, but you can play at nearly any level under paralytic.
Possible Olympic inclusion: Golf just became an Olympic sport, so dune golf may catch on… you never know?

 




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