Fat. For some of us, it is our great lifelong struggle. But, if you look at it from an anthropological perspective and understand how it works, defeating it becomes easier, says Gord Laws — who once, not too long ago, tipped the scales at 150kg!

Did you know that your body’s ability to retain fat may actually mean you’re better evolved than that eternally skinny bitch next door? You see, fat has a purpose, and to defeat it, you must know your enemy. There’s reasons why fat is so hard to shed and so easy to gain. Let’s have a look, shall we…

Abundance: we’re not built for it

When I was younger I had a theory that everything that tasted good is fattening and everything that tastes like steamed ming (aka excrement) is packed full of nutrients and doesn’t contain fat.

Years later I read an article in Time magazine (sadly, I forget when, and who the author was) that backed up my theory. And even later, I read a brilliant book by Dr Geoffrey Blainey, a history professor from Australia, called A Very Short History of the World. Together, these two bits of reading cemented my theory.

See, the human race has been around for millions of years. We’ve been around in our present form (more or less) for hundreds of thousands of years. Only for the last few hundred years (at best) have significant numbers amongst us had access to abundant food, drink and shelter.

Obviously, hunger problems still exist (you only have to look to Somalia), but millions of us do have access to as much food as we can store in our fridge and stuff down our throats. Generally, it’s available, it’s fatty, it’s delicious and in some cases, it’s killing us.

Imagine for a moment, that it’s a few thousand years ago. You live every second you’re awake with one primary concern: finding food! There are many beasts too that have the same concern, and you may be their potential food. Being able to defend yourself against larger beasts, or at the very least effectively flee, is an important factor for survival. This along with bulking up for extended periods of hunger and even cold means that your body needs fat.

So, when the tribe kills a wildebeest, it makes sense that your body is going to want you to eat the fattiest part of the beast. The strongest, hairiest dude in the tribe is going to get that part, because he’ll rip your head off if you try and stop him — and all he knows is that the bit he’s gnawing on tastes best. Then he’s going to breed more than you, and his ancestors will, thousands of years later, wear Ed Hardy T-shirts and enjoy extended “procreation” opportunities. And thus the weak are rooted out – and the strong survive to breed.

Thousands of years later, here I sit, some awesome fat-eater’s ancestor, training twice a day and dieting forever to prevent my body from regaining the 65 excess kilos that I had to lose almost two years ago. The drive in me to eat everything I lay my eyes on (and which seems so much stronger in me than it does in 99.7 percent of other people) is actually me being better equipped to survive than most. But, it nearly killed me.

The body is reluctant to use its “just in case” fat stores. It’ll completely deplete available blood sugar before it’ll dip into the fat, even letting you faint. Hey, fainting is better than death from the body’s perspective! The body wants fat. It needs fat. And it’ll do anything to prevent using it once it has it.

Even killing a fat cell is an almighty mission. A large portion of the 65 kilos worth of fat cells I used to carry is still with me. See, most people have a more or less similar number of fat cells their whole lives, regardless of reasonable weight fluctuations. It usually goes up slightly as you get older, but only if you’ve actually managed to get older, by not getting eaten by a tiger. Good job.

A fat cell, if you magnified it under a microscope, can fluctuate from the size of a pinhead to the size of a soccer ball – any empty one it can swell thousands of times its size.

Today, I have muscles – you can see them if I flex – but make no mistake, chilling there, just under my skin, almost invisible, are five times as many fat cells as the ordinary person has. And they’re dying to fill up again. Because that’s what the body is programmed to do to combat periods of starvation and constant physical exertion, which we don’t really have anymore.

Just like new fat cells can be created by the body if all of the existing ones are totally full for a long time, the existing ones can ultimately be absorbed if they’re dormant for long. I’m talking over years, though.

Point is, it’s not some curse. It’s not some unfair lottery of life. It’s not some convenient excuse to give up before you’ve begun to fight. It’s what you are. It’s evolution. And it’s there to help you survive.

So what you need to do is think hard about excess. Think about your instincts and why you have them. Understand them, and then you can start to win the weight war. That, and knowing this one real secret of weight loss.

The real secret

Let me start by saying that any increase in physical activity will benefit your weight situation. Moving around (as long as you’re not being chased by a bear or something) is always better for you than sitting on your arse. Also, during my quest to lose 60kg, I found this next concept very hard to accept when my awesome trainer Warren G first explained it to me. I tried it out on pure faith, and it literally doubled my weight-loss results. Even occasionally tripled them.

The secret is – you burn more fat by doing lower-intensity cardio than you do by going all out. I know, right? Thing is, you have to do it for much longer.

Going nuts on your cardio is great for you (provided you don’t cause yourself a stroke or heart attack in the process). Pushing your fitness levels all the time benefits your cardio-vascular system. Stronger heart, stronger lungs, lengthened lifespan, vibes of well-being. It’s important – and good for you. But, you have to ask yourself why you’re doing cardio in the first place. Are you keen to be marathon-fit, able to swim to Mauritius without getting out of breath? Or, do you see cardio as a means to lose weight?

Maybe, like me, you couldn’t care about fitness for now, you just desperately want to be rid of a massive store of fat that’s ruining your life? And, when you’re in terrible shape, elevating your heart rate to very high levels feels like a near-death experience. If you’re nodding right now, then this is for you. If you’re trying to graduate from Kaiser Chiefs to the English Premiership, then it’s probably not applicable.

So, explain it already!

When your body is at a very high heart rate, and temperature, it requires large amounts of energy to sustain the effort. And, because of the immediate strain, it needs that energy to be readily available in your bloodstream. It needs glucose in the bloodstream, there and then, from food that you’ve recently eaten. It can’t process fat and turn it into energy-on-the-go, because that process requires, well… processing.

Your body needs fuel. Lots of it! Immediately! When it runs out, so does your ability to perform. But, when you do cardio at a significantly more chilled pace, but for a much longer period of time (say 40 to 60 minutes, as opposed to 20 to 30 minutes of intense cardio) and ideally start with low-blood sugar levels (first thing in the morning before you eat is ideal), the body reacts differently.

Instead of panicking and crashing, your body is able to sustain a lower pace by getting into what (admittedly, rather cheesily) is referred to as “the fat-burning zone”. It takes about 20 minutes to “activate” this zone, but eventually your body realises that you’re rocking a slow, long haul, and that you don’t have much blood sugar for it. But you do have some fat!

So it starts to use that fat, by processing it into glycogen and then glucose, as it’s required. Then, the longer you go for after the first 20 minutes or so, the more your body will literally eat itself to sustain the effort.

Sounds crazy? Well, it took me from losing about a kilo a week, doing hectic cardio for 20 minutes a day (and hating it) to averaging about 2kg a week with spike weeks of up to 3,5 to 4kg. And I didn’t dread it like I did the sweat-and-gasp sessions.

“The bottom line is: longer, less intense cardio is better for fat loss. Whereas shorter, more intense cardio is better for fitness and endurance,” says Warren G, my esteemed and trusted personal trainer and personal friend.

My training schedule

Based on this advice from Warren I do 40 to 60 minutes of slow-burn cardio three mornings a week, followed by 10 minutes of hectic, hard-as-I-can sprints on a bike. I use the latter part of the workout to improve and measure my fitness.

The other two week mornings, I swim a kilometer. Then, every weeknight, I do weights.

Sounds mad, I know, but nowhere near as traumatic as weighing 150-plus kilos.

Perhaps like Warren G helped me with this advice, so too I can help you.

Thanks for reading, friends.

Gord

Go to www.mojodojo.co.za for more fitness information and loads of other cool stuff.